1,000 words

This is a challenge for anyone that reads this message and feels urged to complete it. Write about yourself in 1,000 words. No more, no less. Be serious, but be yourself. It's actually kind of hard. I started going off on a tangent. But I did it! Post on this to tell me if you took the challenge. If you wanna be really crazy, I double dog dare you to write about yourself in 5,000 words! Ah, just kidding.

Without further ado...

Me in 1,000 Words!

(Beyond this point forward, the word count begins.)

Would you be able to describe yourself in one word? One hundred?

One thousand?

To start off, my name is Christie. I am an 8^th grade girl. I live in a relatively small town, but even if I lived in a big town I wouldn’t know I did. I don’t like talking to people in my neighborhood. Small talk bores me, especially if it’s the annoying small talk where you don’t really want to talk to the person. I keep to myself when it comes to chatting with the neighbors. None of our neighbors really talk to us anyways. Now, I’m not saying I’m antisocial. I might be grumpy sometimes, but everyone has those days. I just find talking to neighbors that I don’t really know, quite frankly, a waste of time. I could be talking to one of my friends.

My favorite color is blue-gray, or #9fb8b8 in nerd speak. There are many (irksome?) quirks about me, and I won’t list all of them, otherwise you’d be bored to death. I have a bit of OCD, but everyone does. I have ADHD, but I’ve been medicated at a young age so it’s under control, unless I don’t take my meds… Oh, have some people experienced the fun Christie when I am bouncing off the walls. Sugar doesn’t affect me. I am medicated for depression.

But right now, if you saw me at school, or at home, or on a walk, you wouldn’t know. My therapist doctor person says I have a sense of sturdiness about me, much more than I did last month (the last time I saw him). I feel it too. I feel so much smarter, so much more mature. Well, except for the perverted jokes my 8^th grade mind can produce in a second. But that’s just part of nature, no? I love where I am right now. I could be messed up, like some people I know. I could be suicidal, I could be super narrow-minded, I could have no fun. That’s not me though. Not right now. I hope I’ll never be that way. I love where I am right now, and would like my situation to not change.

My friends and I are close. Niki and I, however, seem to be drifting off again. Almost everything she does I complain about. She wants to be a coroner? I claim she is messed up for wanting to spend the rest of her life in a morgue. She draws x’s on her fingernails and say she’s emo. I should stop, considering our relationship seems to be next to zero now. She never gives me hugs! She never even says she loves me anymore (as a friend). Today, I said “Love ya!” and then Niki says “Okay, bye”…

Sam and I are very close, very personal. My god, that sounds wrong, does it not? She’s the one person I really roleplay with. I wish I knew her better. She gives all these god damn vague hints into her life, so the therapist in me is like “oh, get her to talk about them!”, but then I try and she says she doesn’t like to talk about her feelings and stuff. It bothers me sometimes. Sam’s the type of person who is super loyal. She won’t tell me things like “You’re going to freak John out if you give him that for Valentine’s day”, which would make me feel bad. She just talks to me and she is loyal and I never want to lose her.

Brittany… Teehee… She’s my lesbian lover! Not really, but I just like to have fun with my friends, and one of these jokes turned into me marrying her. I really, really want to help Brittany. She’s so unmotivated, and her family is so dysfunctional sometimes. Actually, her family is dysfunctional ALL the time, I swear. They’re screwing her up. I want to pick her up, and take her away from her narcissistic father. But she’s in none of my classes so I can’t really teach her anything… I’ll try anyways.

(oh, all she needs now is a man in such difficult times as these… [I’m going to be shot by some specific person, I bet])

But I adore my friends all to pieces and would go through hell for them and back. <3

Oh, speaking of the peculiar possibly mathematical symbol that states “less than three”… what does less than three mean? Well I’ll give you a hint, if you are too dense to turn your head to the side and squint a little. It means ♥ and if you still don’t know what that means you are officially stupid.

But I digress.

John is an awesome, awesome person. To doubt the fact that a guy could be as mature as he is (pardoning the perverted jokes, of course. If an 8^th grader is without dirty minds, they have no minds at all!) was silly for me, or any of my friends to do. It’s almost been four months since we started “going out”, per say, I am excited.
Without going into the ever present clichés, he makes me smile. That was actually cliché. Tsk, Christie. French-origin words strike your writing once again! I once again deviate from my original focus. (I was ADHDing, sorry.) I’m starting to get to know his friends, sort of. I would consider Justin a friend; he’s a neat and awesome midget. I shouldn’t make fun of him so, but I do. Alex K is pretty cool, he’s funny because of his weirdness. And Jeff can be blunt, awkward and crude, but he’s fun to laugh at the same time.

As I grow up, I know I will mature and change. I will lose friends and gain them. I will have problems, and I will have solutions. This “me” that I present to you in a 1,000 words will not last forever. But it is the me right now. Me, in February 2007, in 1,000 words

Looking to the future does not help the now.

For the past year or two now... I've been wanting to become a therapist. It's the main career I've imagined myself as. Dr. Smith; just like my parents. Except I won't be cutting people up. I'll be fixing people's brains. I'll help them. I will be able to turn people's life's around. Hell, I'm wanting to become a therapist so badly I'd do the 4 years of medical school.

But now, I just feel like slamming my head through a wall.
Because even though I'm only 13 years old, I've viewed myself as a therapist you don't have to pay for. I'd talk to Sam for long hours, just trying to get to know more about her. I talked to Niki, I talked to Brittany. It made me happy when they talked back. I felt like I had helped them.

Yet today, I read a couple of comments on dA. That totally ruined my mood. Today was already bad. And then after oboe practice, I was cheered up. But I come down into my computer room and I feel like crying again? Here were the comments:
"No one wants to be alone, neglected, ignored, hated, etc. Yet again, nobody wants someone digging into their brain and trying to figure out what's wrong. Probably the reason people hate psychiatrists and so, because the people make you feel like they're shrinking your brain (hence the term, 'shrink')" - Sam
Hate psychiatrists?
...hate what I want to be?
Then more:
"Never believe a psychiatrists. You can ask any crazy guy" - Chess
Well f*** her. I have always hated Chess. She is first class bitch, and pardon my french, but she is. She treats her friend so rudely and seems like a complete arrogant person and I would like to rip her head off.
And then Sam replies:
"Ha ha, true. I don't like psychiatrists. They make me feel uncomfortable, and they don't talk enough. Besides, I haven't told anyone except my brothers what I fear or love in life and it sure as hell won't be a psychiatrist who'd just put me on medications and exercises to make me feel better."
What?! Sam has never told me she's gone to a therapist. I've been trying to get her to talk to one for the longest time because I'm worried about her! And then she does! (at least from what I've guessed) and she doesn't tell me?
She doesn't like psychiatrists. She doesn't like me? I've tried so hard to be someone she can talk to. I've tried so hard to be a person that can help her through life. But she apparently doesn't like therapists or that type of people (nor does she respect them)

It pisses me off that people can hate other people just for helping them. How incredibly selfish for them to be that way. Therapists don't do it just for the money. They go into that career because they freaking care about people. About people they haven't even met. About people they've barely met. And just because you're too narcissistic and ungenerous to let someone try to help doesn't mean you should act that way. Think about how therapists feel, after having 5 kids who just play around with them, and don't talk and make it into a game. Let's see how pissed I can make the doctor! LOL FUN! And meanwhile, I'll go commit suicide! I could have saved my effing life but then again, I'm too egotistical to want help from a person who god-forbid wants to! ROFL! *slits wrists*

Those people make me sick. And make me want to not become a doctor. Because they're so rude and so ungrateful. I hate them. But I also feel bad for them. Because those people are the ones that need help. Ruin is on the point of putting a gun to her head and she hates therapists. I'm sure Chess has tried suicide but she's too dramatic to actually die, and she hates therapists. But to tell the truth, I think the world would be a lot happier if she did. I would. And Sam. I don't know the first thing about Sam. She never talks to me. Never. I've never been able to connect with her, except for once. And I never will, because she's too damn stubborn and I'm not her brother.

What I hate:

Anxiety attacks.

During school.
I feel like crying but of course I can't because that is a weakness; and if you cry at school you will be the victim of hearing "wow... is she alright?" and pity, which isn't always appreciated.
Soooooooooo...
I'm overwhelmed right now.
:(

But Valentine's Day is coming up!
It's driving me crazy! I wish it was tomorrow!